New York Apartment Absurdities

Apartments in New York City exist in this funny alternate dimension. They think of having an in-building washer and dryer as a major feature (an in-unit is "luxury"). I even saw a listing for a supposedly brand new apartment that touted the convenience of having a laundromat just down the block.

They're also cramped, overpriced little affairs, despite the funky camera lenses that some people use to make the rooms look bigger in ads. Two "bedrooms" might include what most people would call a living room, and a decorated border between a living room and a kitchen can sometimes constitute a "dining room". Yes, Manhattan magic can make a 580 sq. ft. two bedroom happen. But fine, space is tight, I can deal.

What absolutely does piss me off is the inquisition some people want to put you through for housing. Sure I'll give you a letter of employment. You can know my salary. Run your credit check. But get a load of this:

!!!DON'T FORGET TO BRING THESE DOCUMENTS TO THE INTERVIEW FOR FAST APPROVAL!!!

1. CURRENT ID
2. LETTER OF EMPLOYMENT
3. LAST 4 PAY STUBS
4. APPLICATION FEE
5. W-2 AND LAST 2 YEARS TAX RETURNS
6. BANK STATEMENTS FOR LAST 3 MONTHS
7. CURRENT UTILITY BILLS FOR LAST 3 MONTHS(TELEPHONE, CON ED)
8. CURRENT LEASE (IF APPLICABLE)
9. CANCELLED RENT CHECKS/MONEY ORDERS FOR THE LAST 6 MONTHS
10. 1 MONTH'S RENT
11. 1 MONTH'S SECURITY
(IF GUARANTOR, SAME PAPERWORK)

Seriously, what the fuck? My last two years of tax returns? Three months of bank statements and bills? What kind of bullshit is this? Do people actually hand all this information over? God help you if you split an apartment with a roommate and his name was on the utility bills.